College Help

College can be a confusing and scary time, what with meeting new people, maybe living away from home, and having to worry about grades. Grades are one of the most important but most frightening parts of college—if your grades go down, you can…well, nothing really bad will happen, but still. Fortunately, there are steps you can take to make sure that your grades stay up.

1. Don’t Study Too Much

Many people think that studying ensures good grades. Actually, the opposite is true. Overstudying is worse than understudying—if you don’t study enough, you can waste time is ways you enjoy, but overstudying just eats up your day. The best thing is to take a quick look over the chapter—if that doesn’t suffice, you probably don’t understand it and probably never will.

2. Establish Good Relations with Your Professors

Your typical college professor isn’t exactly good time Charlie—who really wants to hang out with college professors? Nobody, that’s who, so they typically spend a lot of time reading dusty journals and wearing tweed (what is tweed, anyway?). This means that you are probably cooler than you instructor—you kinda have to be—so use that to your advantage. A simple “have a nice day” will brighten up his or her day, and will come in handy at grading time.

3. Ask Questions

Notice I don’t say ask good questions—just ask a question here and there so the professor knows you’re not asleep. They like students who seem to be paying attention, and that’s a surefire way to boosting your grades.

And if you have to text during class, be subtle about it.

4. Negotiate

You’ll find that negotiation is an important life skill. Too many people take a hard line, my-way-or-the-highway approach, which is bad. So when you get a test or paper back, look for instances where the instructor could have given you more points, and ask him about them. The worst that can happen is that he says no, and he’ll probably feel a bit guilty for doing so. Your next test will probably be graded a bit easier, so consider your negotiations an investment.

5. Be Smart

If you’re not really smart, you’re probably wasting your time at college. Look around you—who among your friend has an IQ lower than yours? If you can’t answer that question immediately, drop out immediately and get a job ditchdigging or whatever it is dropouts do.

Geekadour

This isn't about me--it's about the guy in Brad Paisley's
Online
Still feel sixteen
most of the time
still put a few photos
on facebook
wall posts and bumper stickers
lord I’m still ride there with them
chatting above the groups and the invites

Chorus:
Sometimes I feel like Tom*
with no last name
still trying to get some game
knowing nothins gonna change what I am
I was a callow young geek
when I became a facebook freak
and I’ll be an old geek when I’m gone

I truth about a keyboard
is that a damned old keyboard
doesn’t really tell the whole truth
it doesn’t even show what’s on the surface
or read between anywhere
but it’s a sad reflection on my youth

Chorus

*Tom: the myspace Friend

Broken Heart

There's this girl I met
While I was facebookin'
And from what her picture says
She's like, really good lookin'

And while I don't know her
In fact we've never met
I'm really glad that she's my friend
Thank God for the internet

And from the way she chats
She seems really nice
No, you can't go by that
Is my brother Dan's advice

He said, you don't know a thing
About your new freind
In fact you've never even seen
Her in persen

I said I'll see her Saturday
And then you can see
That she is not
What you make her out to be

He said what if she doesn't come, I said I know she will,
Thats when I got the call
She said I can't come after all
I'm going to Stubenville

I said whats up with this?
Whats this all about?
The two of us agree to meet,
And then you bail out?

And know I think my brother is right,
The things he said are so
Never get wound up too tight,
With a girl you do not know

Facebook: More than a Memory

I might be taking the switch to the new facebook a little too hard, but...I really hate it.

People say its only in my head
It'll take time, but I'll get used to it
They say I need to get on with my life
They don't realize

Its when you're clicking on links and they just won't load
And the whole dang site has really slowed
When you join "anti new format" groups both day and night
To try to make it change back and be alright
When you find yourself joining Myspace
Because facebook is now such a big disgrace
Thats when its more than a memory

You go out and delete your page
Cause the new facebook is a big outrage
They've gone and messed up my whole wall
This ain't helping me at all

Cause when you've got notifications and you just don't care
You don't look at them, just leave them there
You're sending less invatations then you've ever sent
Looking at less pics, making fewer comments
You resort to getting a Myspace
Because facebook has been so debased
Thats when its more than a memory

People say its only in my head
It'll take time, but I'll get used to it
They say I need to get on with my life
They don't realize